Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
