Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
