I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
