i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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