So drunk its hurt
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
