another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
