you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
