shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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