I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
