...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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