You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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