Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I met the friendliest cop last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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