4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
