i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
