I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
