Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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