whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
