"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
