I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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