i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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