His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Come on in and take your pants off
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