Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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