i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is my gift to your gina
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
