That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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