two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
