you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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