I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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