Nicole vs. Life
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
