i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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