you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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