I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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