No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
