She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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