I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this just has baby written all over it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
