I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
