That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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