You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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