oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
