oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think i got beer on your cat.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
