Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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