im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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