He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
