I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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