STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
