Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize