It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
