It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
