I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
