she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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