I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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