belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
