so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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