well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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