The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
