I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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